I’m incensed. This needs to be address, at least for my own sake.
I. Am. Lesbian. For me, it doesn’t seem like a big deal. Aside from coming out to people (and watching their reactions, which amuse me greatly in their variety) I hardly ever think of myself as being much different from any other human being. The fact that I drool over women instead of men doesn’t strike me as odd and every time I hear of these people who find what I am so horrid and disturbing, all I want to do is … harm something.
I especially hold choices words in regards to parents of gay, lesbian, or any other queer teen who make it so difficult for their children to come to them with such important news. Even for me, I am in that difficult stage of trying to figure out when would be the most appropriate time to tell my father, whose response I’m so unsure of. He could be a bit perturbed but otherwise alright with it, or he could come at me with new chains of limitations to choke my social life with.
Just today one of my closest friends was forced to come out to her mother, a woman who I and many others extremely abhor. With the way she has responded to other situations with her daughter, we knew not to expect much out of this woman when her daughter finally reveiled her orientation but we were hoping it would come out in good time. Things don’t always work out the way they should, especially for us teenagers.
My friend’s mother was disgusted, said she wanted to vomit, that [May]* couldn’t possibly know her sexuality at this age (16), that homosexuality was against her religion, that she could never support [May] in any relationship she had with a girl. What angered me most about her reaction was that she was chiefly concerned about her reputation and the reputation of the family if others were to find out. When [May] told her that a few of her friends already knew, her mother was beyond pissed. Basically, [May] was told she wasn’t to tell anyone else.
Of course, as I would, [May] plans to come out to a few more of her friends. Although the truth is finally out in the open, and in a painful way, the fact that it’s out now, [May] can more freely express herself. There is no longer that fear of word reaching her parents because they’ve already found out.
Even worse than a rude parent is one who is so disgusted by their own child that they’re willing to throw them out, even before they’re a legal adult. That is your child, the being that you brought into this world with your love, who you’ve been raising and nuturing. To just toss them to the world over ONE simple thing such as who they prefer to date is cruel and unnecessary. How many of these parents have found out that their child was experimenting with drugs and alcohol in the past and only administered a mild scolding? How many of these parents allowed their child to continue doing drugs and live in the house when they knew that it was illegal and would have a direct affect on how long they’d have to live? Yet these children come to these same parents, hoping against all hope that their parents will still love them, telling them that they simply wanted to date, bed, and marry someone of the same sex. The severity of a child’s sexual orientation doesn’t seem so much in comparison to abusing drugs or anything similar. If this child were to murder another human being, those parents would probably come visit their child in jail but would refuse to go to their child’s gay wedding; willing to go to a depressing place to see their child unhappy and in constant danger over and over again but unwilling to go to one event where they will see their child happy and loved by someone else.
It doesn’t make any sense to me.
My mother knows I’m lesbian, and although she isn’t overtly supportive or necessarily happy for me, she isn’t telling me that I’m “not allowed” to be gay and I know she still loves me. As for whether she’d come to my lesbian wedding one day in the future is still to be determined but I have hope that she will.
I definitely have more to say on this topic but I’ll do that at another time when I can sit and spiel for hours if I want to; right now, I don’t have that kind of time.
xx~Ria
* As a precaution, the name of my said friend has been changed
